i collapse inward on myself

trying to consume the world with me

a black hole of sorts

slow motion, a crescendo,

building and building but never reaching its peak

just missing the mark going back down to a small trickle of noise

only to attempt a crescendo again

again, again 

“why are you destroying yourself?”

 

you save me.

words flow from you like water

a soft trickle, a strong stream

you’re a waterfall

strong, energetic, remarkable, wide

you’re a still river

serene, ethereal, fragile, colorful

 

you have definite volume but no fixed shape 

the epitome of free

my aspiration to be you. the hold you have on me

 

i admire the course you’re on

i admire your flow

“can i share your course with you?”

yes, let’s go

 

what was a mighty delta, is now venom spreading on a page

swallowing everything. 

consuming me whole.

the dam at the mouth of the river has fallen

there’s nothing i can do

as i watch your mighty waters become a menacing force of nature

everything in your path crumbles down 

I am next

there’s nowhere to run. nowhere but you.

I’ll let myself drown with the comforting memories of your waterfall

the river, serene and ethereal

you destroyed me, but I was going to destroy me too

 

this is the crescendo 

a beautiful build, a mesmerizing peak

such fragility all comes down

I was made to collapse; I was made to drown.