Wed, 11/15/2017 - 03:45 -- MARs


United States

I sometimes ask myself, "would I have prayed a different prayer, if I had known what your actions were to be?"

Would I wish for a worse outcome, for that early morning search party?

Would I have wished for a kidnapping, to avoid the emotional one you were to cause us?

I don't know, I don't answer myself, for fear of what that answer may be.

I feel like a fool, for being worried about you those few hours. I feel like a victim for not knowing that night to not let my eyelids close, but to keep them sternly on you. I feel like an idiot, for allowing myself to fall for this scheme. To worry for you.

If I knew the pain to come, would I have gone back to bed?

I've recently started asking myself, "If I knew the incoming pain, would I have gotten out of the car?" Would I have said more than I love you?  Could I have said more than I love you?

I don't know. I don't answer myself, for I fear I don't know. And I never will.

I sometimes ask myself, "how am I supposed to go on?" I don't know. Maybe the hope of seeing her again is the answer.


MVP-Most Valuable Poet

great poem

what came to my mind was Joshua 1:9 where the scripture entails about having no fear, and be courageous

read that verse, it's powerful

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