Ritual

Location

76052
United States
32° 59' 3.6708" N, 97° 23' 2.6628" W
So tired of habitual, 
The goodnight, sleep tight, ritual. 
The I love you and say goodbye, 
The swearing that you do not lie. 
When truth is told and eyes don't meet, 
And kindness held a heavy feat. 
The how are yous that just don't care, 
The disbelief that life's not fair. 
So tired of the repetition, 
Empty acts for recognition. 
Since when was love a bored routine? 

It's not what's said but what is seen 

Comments

Sarah Myer

Very good. I loved the amount of questioning and emotion you captured in so few words.

Amyyschu

Why thank you! I appreciate the feedback:)

The Little Prince

You have a way with words. I confess, I do not quite understand the lines: "When truth is told and eyes don't meet,/And kindness held a heavy feat." (My lack of understanding is at that last part) But the rest is very good. This talks very well about not just habit, but insincerity. When does love become nothing more than a word? It sounds like the problem here isn't just with routine, but that the heart, the emotion, the meaning, the sheer power behind it---is gone. "I love you" without the meaning behind it is nothing more than an empty shell of something once beautiful. It's like the cocoon after the butterfly has left. In any case (sorry for rambling), I enjoyed it! Thank you for writing!

Amyyschu

Thank you for all the feedback on several poems of mine...:) "When truth is told and eyes don't meet" speaks of being honest but the other person being so untrusting that you might as well be lying. The second part may have been worded better, I admit, but in less poetic words it could be stated  or explained: "when being kind is difficult becuse the person recieving the kindess is not easy to get along with" Thank you!

The Little Prince

Ah I see! Thank you for the clarification. And you are quite welcome. I know how helpful/encouraging it is to get feedback on one's work, though I honestly wouldn't have said anything if I didn't like it. 

AlicatWrites

Beautiful! I like the rhym. 

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