Remember, Self (Foster Care)
Location
I woke up today,
In the midst of disarray.
Microwave rays,
Penetrating,
Burning into my brain.
Convenience,
What convenience?
I'm alone.
Three screaming entities,
Tuggin' at my soul.
Ground breakin'
Heart shakin'
Work.
Clutter surrounds,
In towering allergic mounds.
Washin' High Chair trays,
Like I'm mom,
A mom of none of mine,
Least-ways.
Wantin' a break,
'Cause they don't comprehend
The effort they take.
Sacrifice.
A way of life.
Lost among smiling questions,
and good intentions.
God, keep lookin' down.
I need you.
Keep shovelin' energy,
Somehow.
I need you.
Winter and the gruel,
Acin' school,
call to me.
Lovin' the process,
As much as the grade.
I'd rather be there,
Than here.
In the middle of
Uncontented
Hot dog eaters,
Screaming for relish
On theirs.
Listen, me,
Listen, I,
Remember when they cry,
Wake up in the middle of the night,
Terror-of-terrors, a night-fright.
Remember the black eyes,
Fist fights,
Gun and knives.
Remember separation,
Of heaven and hell.
Remember them,
Pulling out of their shells.
Learning to trust others,
Emotions on a shelf.
In the midst of the day,
Wishin' I was paid,
Remember, self.