"Real women have curves." But yet a "real man" loves thin women and doesn't want too much to grab; and no I don't mean I only care of what a man thinks, but how am I supposed to find love when a man could never love someone with stretch marks so wide you can see them through any dress. When a man could never love a woman with thighs that stick out.

                        "Curvy is beauty." Yet I would give anything to not be in my own skin. I don't feel beautiful in what I am or what I wear. The only beautiful things come in sizes like 1 or 3, not 13.

                         "Numbers and sizes don't matter." Yes, but me a 13, is 'cute', a 9 is 'pretty', a 5 is 'beautiful', a 3 is 'gorgeous'. Soft and smooth and small and beautiful. In a world full of aesthetics, I spend my days debating hours at the gym or a meal.

                        "You're really big." Words of a seven year old that can cut like a knife. Even as a child others could tell my soon to be double digit pants were ugly. Or by pulling at my cheeks, showing me that even my face was too large.

                        "Real women have curves." But yet I hate the way I do.