A Letter to My Mom:
Mom, did you know?
Did you know it was your time?
You couldn't let me know I wouldn't see you when the sun shines?
You couldn't call me to your room and ask me why dishes were in the sink?
You couldn't check to see if I was on my phone or if I was sleep?
Did you have to leave so quickly?
Did it hurt to be alone?
Did you have to pick the hardest passcode to unlock your phone?
Was there anything you wanted to do before your heart began to race?
Mom tell me - please tell me - what's the last thing you meant to say?
Did you mean to go this early?
Did you know it was a lie?
When we asked if anyone under 50 in our family had died?
Did you know that by that Friday you'd be up with the Most High?
Chillin', hanging out with Jesus sitting there on God's right side?
Did you mean to leave us heartbroken? Did you mean to make us cry,
Like we we're watching some crazy sob story like you would watch on Lifetime?
Now it's 4 in the morning and I'm alone on the floor asking you and God
Just how long this will hurt for.
First my grandma, uncle, auntie, grandpa, and now momma got her wings to soar.
Got my eyes sore, nose running, faster than me.
Momma you didn't even get to see me run my first meet,
Of the season, now I don't knwo if I can do this no more.
Reminding myself that you ain't comng back hurts me to my core.
I keep looking up, expecting you to walk in through that door.
But you're gone. Forever, and no less or no more.
I'm not gone lie, this has me afraid to love God-fearing people.
Man, you take them so fast, God
& The Devil so evil.
I've been told to be happy,
Because now you're not in no pain.
But did it hurt so badly to hold up this family name?
Did your pain overpower all your love for your kids?
Nah, that's impossible, I'm sorry ma, you loved us with no limits.
I just... I got all these questions and you're not here for Q & A
So I keep them to myself written for my eyes only.