You can't trust me.
Attracted to everybody,
Safe with nobody.
Wishing, maybe.
Can't be trusted.
Lusting? Busted.
Virgin in body
Not in mind.
Should not tangle
With my kind.
The worst part is -
I don't want this.
I hate me
For being so weak.
Wish I was pure.
Wish I was sweet.
Miss my innocence.
Miss my diffidence.
When I was fair.
When I didn't care.
Not anymore.
I abhor
My dirty mind.
So much shame.
Run and hide.
Hide in nun's black.
Black as me.
Run from boys.
Become a bully.
Words sharp and cold
Keep me in control.
Run away.
Don't look. Don't stay.
Hide in books.
Try to stay pure.
Avoid males.
Right. Sure.
Can't just be friends.
Tried.
Said I didn't like you.
Lied.
Don't want to desire,
But it's fired.
I chose to wake.
Can't sleep again.
I struggle.
I deal.
Guilt locks me up.
I can't be real.
Guard my heart.
Don't steal.
Don't imagine.
Don't feel.
Don't talk. Don't touch.
Hug is too much.
Too close! Back up!
Make mess. Clean up.
Don't think that thought.
Don't sing love songs.
I wanted love.
How did I get so wrong?
I'm a princess
Who hunted a prince.
I'm not safe,
Even to wish.
Men are dangerous.
So am I.
Men are wicked.
I can lie.
Lock myself
In the tower
Where I dwelled
When I was young.
When I was caged,
I was free.
No door opened
To immorality.
Now I have keys.
I have seen,
World of men.
I can't return.
I know I should wait.
My Prince will find me.
Don't open my gates.
Stay and see.
So hard to wait,
As princes pass by.
Know what I've done
Keeps me inside.
If they knew,
What I was,
Would they climb?
Would they run?
If I could go back
To when I was young
Could I stay forever?
Wear black, be a nun?
Too late now.
What have I done?
Prisoner again
To my own sins.
More captive now
Than I've ever been.