The Power of Report Cards


Excuse me, ma'm 
but I would greatly appreciate it 
if you could update my grades
before the second coming. 
I know. You have a life:
Lots of Starbucks to show up late with
and a whole season of Breaking Bad
to catch up on 
but my GPA is on the line 
and I know you have my test.
No, don't lie! I was here!
It's on the attendance record. 
Just give me the score key. 
I'll grade it myself. 
You know, this is actually part of your job. 
You are supposed to grade my tests. 
It is significant to assigning a test. 
So when you give a test
that is thirty percent of my grade
and do not give me credit for it,
I go a little nuts. 
It's not like I'm asking you
to sell your soul 
or listen to Justin Bieber all day
or marry Hitler. 
I'm asking you
to grade a test. 
Preferably before my grandchildren's grandchildren
graduate from college.  
All I'm asking for is one little grade. 
All I want is that one little test.
You can do that 
before I email my administrator...can't you?


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