You and me were as goofy and funny as Spongebob and Patrick, as old as Pikachu and Squirtle and we were as stuck as Peanut is to butter. Whenever we weren't together it was sort of awkward. We grew up together ever since we were little kids in grammer school me playing with your cats to middle school where we treated eachother cruely yelling and screaming at eachother when all you were trying to do was help me and we acted as though neither one of us were ever friends and just like that within a flick of the switch and one simple word our cherished seemingly "never-ending" friendship was over. I moved before we could resolve anything and I spent literally a whole entire summer crying and I couldn't help but feel horrible and all that was at the back of my head was "what if you hate my guts and never want to ever speak to me ever again?". I was a total and complete disaster.

In highschool when I had first seen you at first I had to stop and blink twice I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart beated faster than a race horse, the blood rushed from my feet to my head, I tried to move but couldn't I was frozen. I wanted to run over and glomp you in a huge hug but the very haunting scenary from Middle School where I told you that I had liked you a lot and you along with your friends all just sat there and laughed at me was what snapped me back into reality. Once I could feel my feet again I walked up to and with a shaky voice I called out your name. When you turned to look at me I could have sworn my face turned a bright pink. I quickly asked if you remembered me and when you said yeah I sighed a much needed breath of relief and my anxiety lowered down a lot. You hugged me and my face grew even pinker. I quickly apolojized for the way how we had ended our friendship in middle school, tears started to roll down my face and people stared and couldn't believe what they were seeing. Yes I had to admit from an outside person looking at the scene to me it would seem silly too but to be honest I felt horrible for the way how we had left things. When you said it was alright to you it was perhaps silly to bring up something from the past but I just had to because my heart just wouldn't allow for me to rest until I knew that you had forgiven me.

Although I know that we are good friends still I don't forgive you for laughing in my face with your friends in Middle School and I know that it's wrong but I refuse to allow for anyone even a good friend such as you to hurt me anymore that's why I have to leave you alone too maybe it's not because of what you had did but what I had done to attract the worst of attention and for you to be targeted is worse than any nightmare because your like family to me. We all make mistakes and sometime yes we do stupid desperate things in order to fit in or just to make a name for ourselves because no one wants to be known as "the weirdo" or "the freak" everyone wants to be accepted. Did any of my poor choices help me in any way? no if anything it brought me lower than I had ever been before. 

I know that you can do better without me I see it in your eyes, that's why when we had made that pact it wasn't just some game no it was to make sure that if one of us fell the other would be there to push them foreward even if the other wouldn't be by their side in every step just to know that we got eachother's back is good enough thats why if i could see you right now for even just a minute I would tell you "please don't do what I had done in the past. I was stupid, foolish, and down right careless. I put everything in front of what was right and I wake up every night crying about my choices. I know that your going to go places in this world and I want for you to excel higher than the clouds could ever take you. Don't stop for anyone espiecally me. I'm a lost cause with only the good will of Jesus and my fighting spirit that are the only things keeping me still breathing and fighting. I'm fighting a lot and although it looks like a lost battle I'm not ready to quit not just yet."