Peanut Butter Jar
When I tell my friends
my girlfriend and I are moving in together
only three months into our relationship,
they start telling me
You have to make your own decisions.
Your own life
Your own mistakes.
They’re worried I’m rushing things.
Diving head first into routine.
That,
soon,
I’ll be tired of seeing her.
One day,
I love you
won’t hold any weight.
But today,
I walked into my bedroom.
Saw her sitting on my---
Our
Bed.
Wearing her gray sweatpants,
eating peanut butter from a jar with a spoon.
And
I know
my I love you will only weigh more
everyday I wake up next to her.
I’ll never be tired of seeing her.
She is
my favorite poem
that I read every night,
my favorite song
played on repeat,
my favorite painting
except... I can touch this one.
I wanna get lost
in those forest green eyes.
I wanna dive into her curves.
I wanna wake up next to her,
and kiss her lips
when they still taste like morning.
If boredom hits,
I’ll take her outside under the moonlight,
and dance until our feet are numb.
I’ll remind her of our first kiss
and all the nights leading up to it.
when she would walk me to my door
and lay on my bed,
our faces would be so close together.
Her body was so warm.
My heart would scream with every beat
Just kiss her already!
But my anxiety held me back
Everytime.
I was so grateful
When she made the first move.
If my
I love you
somehow loses its weight.
If it leaves my mouth one day,
and starts floating up in space,
I’ll tie rocks to it.
I’ll weigh it on a scale
Until it is perfectly balanced
so it can stay on this earth
for eternity.
When I’m asked
Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?
I’ll tell them
about the first time we listened to Jefferson Airplane together.
She had never heard of the band
before she met me.
But
when that needle hit the record,
she seemed to sing along
word for word.
I told her
"Maybe this was one of your favorite albums in a past life.
better yet,
maybe we were lovers in the 1960s.
Maybe we drove cross country together.
Maybe we sold jewelry out of the back of a volkswagen van.
Maybe we went to all of the Grateful Dead concerts.
Maybe
those memories were so wonderful
you can’t help but hold onto them
until the next life cycle."
She just smiled
and took it a step further
saying
"Maybe
we just keep being reincarnated
Over
and over
and over.
Maybe,
we keep meeting each other
everytime
but just can’t quite get close enough.
Maybe this time...
we finally got it right."
So
Whenever they ask
Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?
I’ll say
No
I’ve been waiting all my lives for this.