Peanut Butter Jar

When I tell my friends

my girlfriend and I are moving in together

only three months into our relationship,

they start telling me

You have to make your own decisions. 

Your own life

Your own mistakes.

They’re worried I’m rushing things.

Diving head first into routine.

That,

soon,

I’ll be tired of seeing her.

One day,

I love you

won’t hold any weight. 

 

But today,

I walked into my bedroom.

Saw her sitting on my---

Our 

Bed.

Wearing her gray sweatpants,

eating peanut butter from a jar with a spoon.

 

And

I know

my I love you will only weigh more

everyday I wake up next to her.

I’ll never be tired of seeing her.

She is

my favorite poem

that I read every night,

my favorite song

played on repeat,

my favorite painting

except... I can touch this one.

 

I wanna get lost

in those forest green eyes.

I wanna dive into her curves.

I wanna wake up next to her,

and kiss her lips

when they still taste like morning.

 

If boredom hits,

I’ll take her outside under the moonlight,

and dance until our feet are numb.

I’ll remind her of our first kiss

and all the nights leading up to it.

when she would walk me to my door

and lay on my bed,

our faces would be so close together.

Her body was so warm.

My heart would scream with every beat

Just kiss her already!

But my anxiety held me back 

Everytime.

I was so grateful 

When she made the first move.

 

If my 

I love you

somehow loses its weight.

If it leaves my mouth one day,

and starts floating up in space,

I’ll tie rocks to it.

I’ll weigh it on a scale

Until it is perfectly balanced

so it can stay on this earth

for eternity.

 

When I’m asked

Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?

I’ll tell them 

about the first time we listened to Jefferson Airplane together.

She had never heard of the band

before she met me.

But 

when that needle hit the record,

she seemed to sing along 

word for word.

 

I told her

"Maybe this was one of your favorite albums in a past life.

better yet,

maybe we were lovers in the 1960s.

Maybe we drove cross country together.

Maybe we sold jewelry out of the back of a volkswagen van.

Maybe we went to all of the Grateful Dead concerts.

Maybe 

those memories were so wonderful

you can’t help but hold onto them

until the next life cycle."

 

She just smiled

and took it a step further

saying

"Maybe 

we just keep being reincarnated

Over

and over

and over.

Maybe,

we keep meeting each other 

everytime

but just can’t quite get close enough.

Maybe this time...

we finally got it right."

 

So

Whenever they ask

Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?

I’ll say

No 

I’ve been waiting all my lives for this.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Jeanette Seele

This is probably the most accurate description of my relationship that I have ever come across. Ever.

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