Masks have always scared me.
I was never a fan of them,
I hated the Halloween aisle at the grocery store,
I didn't want to try them on.
They looked too real,
so I didn't want to touch them.
I had one foam cheetah mask
but I hated it and soon threw it away
because I remember the smell and the closeness
and I thought I might suffocate.
What if the mask got stuck
and I was stuck in there
My eyes were not the best
and I had trouble reading the board at school
so I was told that I needed glasses.
I was astounded to see how many little things I was missing,
and even now when I put them on,
there's a moment that almost takes my breath away-
is this what everyone else is seeing?
For the most part, I don't mind them.
But at the same time,
they're always there.
They're sitting there,
not even an inch away,
always touching me,
always slipping just to remind me that they're there.
How can I put myself out there,
how can I feel like myself,
if my face is behind glass?
Maybe it's supposed to feel like I'm observing the world
but I feel more like I am the specimen hiding under glass.
Does a mask have to hide your entire face?
If it only covers your eyes, is it still a mask?
Aren't the eyes the window to the soul?
If you cover them, even with glass,
doesn't it dull the effect?
My hair has always been a long curtain
that separates me from the rest of the world
while I peer out from under it,
and now I finally have a door
to shut everything out-
but the question remains,
do I want to?