Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtains

Tue, 09/02/2014 - 12:06 -- otnemem

Masks have always scared me.

I was never a fan of them, 

I hated the Halloween aisle at the grocery store,

I didn't want to try them on.

They looked too real, 

so I didn't want to touch them.

I had one foam cheetah mask

but I hated it and soon threw it away

because I remember the smell and the closeness

and I thought I might suffocate.

What if the mask got stuck 

and I was stuck in there

forever?

 

My eyes were not the best

and I had trouble reading the board at school

so I was told that I needed glasses.

I was astounded to see how many little things I was missing,

and even now when I put them on,

there's a moment that almost takes my breath away-

is this what everyone else is seeing?

 

For the most part, I don't mind them.

But at the same time, 

they're always there.

They're sitting there,

not even an inch away,

always touching me,

always slipping just to remind me that they're there.

How can I put myself out there,

how can I feel like myself, 

if my face is behind glass?

 

Maybe it's supposed to feel like I'm observing the world

but I feel more like I am the specimen hiding under glass.

 

Does a mask have to hide your entire face?

If it only covers your eyes, is it still a mask?

 

Aren't the eyes the window to the soul?

If you cover them, even with glass,

doesn't it dull the effect?

 

My hair has always been a long curtain

that separates me from the rest of the world

while I peer out from under it,

and now I finally have a door

to shut everything out-

but the question remains,

do I want to?

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