The past three years have been the

hardest

strongest

most vulnerable

time of my life.

2016

granny died suddenly, stage 4 pancreatic cancer

two weeks,

three days,

gone. 

a senior in high school,

she’d never see me graduate. 

a very lonely girl, dated guys i should’ve 

never spoken to. 

2017

three new exes. 

a favorite aunt i wanted to reconnect with

didn’t go to the hospital,

didn’t want to die there;

like her mother before her.

it happened anyways,

breast cancer.

both on my maternal side, my own mother was struggling,

her favorite women falling down. 

we were all trying to find our own space now. 

2018

the end of this year,

a new light is approaching;

i have found parts of myself again, watching as i

grow and grow and grow. 

tenderly, gently, firmly,

i forced myself out of my anger, my fear, my anxiety. 

sheer willpower, intent,

to all of my mothers and sisters before me,

i will continue to grow.