Panic! In The Classroom

Location

The first day of fourth grade-

Mom always went on the first day,

but today she didn't.

And I'm far from okay.

I don't know what to say

and all I can do is pray

that nobody will talk to me.

Pray that it won't be this way

up until May.

When I look up, I see an array

of smiling kids my own fucking age.

And my gaze drops down.

 

I start to shake

and my cheeks bake.

I can't breathe

and control leaves me.

I'm nowhere near punctual

and now I'm not functional

while everyone else seems untouchable.

A girld tries to make contact with my eyes,

but I can't manage it

and nobody can hear my silent cries.

As my throat dries,

I know it's worthless to try

and on the desk my head lies.

Then I remember"

"I need a friend this year."

With my hands near my thighs

I slowly look up

and start to rise.

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