over you

being without you this past month has opened my eyes to all that i wasn't getting. i was not recieving love or care, nor lust or passion of any kind. for months, and i didn't see this as a problem at the time because i would have done anything for you. and i did, i did all that i could and more. i drove you to and from every single day for two months, and was even late to work so you would be on time. i didn't go out during this time so that you wouldn't be trapped at home without a car, and i even offered you mine because i know you would never rideshare. i sacrificed my own needs for you and it never made you happy. you were always looking for the next thing. "i can't wait to live together" well i was there and you hated it. "i can't wait until we get a house" well we had a home but you didn't want to treat it as such. nothing was ever enough and im scared for your future and the fact that nothing may ever be enough. but through realizing this i have seen that i was not loved by you, not in the way that i needed to be. i told you my love language was words of endearment and affection. you couldn't even give me that  a majority of the time. you told me your love language was gift giving, but i hate recieving them and maybe that's when i should have known to leave.

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