The outside looking in

Inside the world that one wants to leave

Leave so bad but cannot do

Do to her family, her friends

 

Smile, they see you.

 

They see you laugh

Laughing so loud

Loud as you could be

Be whom they want

Want so desperately for you to be fixed

Fixing you is the hardest part 

 

Faking it.

Faking every emotion on the outside

Dying on the inside

Inside where you burry your painful thoughts

Thoughts that tell you to die

Die by the hand of your own

Own self once again

 

Again, you’re seven. 

Seven asking where daddy is

Mom tucks you into bed, kisses you goodnight

Goodnight only seemed for so long

Long until you pull out your notebook

Notebook filled with gravestones

Gravestones with your name

Your name, your birthdate

 

Another birthday, blow out your candles.

“Make a wish” they say

Yet you wish you could easily die in your sleep

Sleep seems so peaceful

Peaceful until the demons come out to play

“Play with us”, they say

Saying it louder and louder every day

 

Every day you run away in your mind

Your mind screams so loud

Louder and louder until you feel as if you’re choking 

Choking until you run into your room

Pull the paper out, grab the pen 

Write and write until your hand gives out

Tears on the page, your words are smudged

 

Smile, they see you.

 

Family, friends

They are watching, be careful

Careful, you might mess up

Mess up and read the poems that you let it all out

Mess up and see the horrors within 

Mess up and you’ll get to another birthday