10/26/15

They say “opening up” will help you relieve the burden.

Oh really?

I’ve tried opening up, but who will hear me out?
Out of the many voices in this “helpful” crowd

Not one really wants to listen.

They say “I really care”

But they think “what a psycho”.

They don’t think I know

But

I know

How many people say they care about something and mean it.

I mean, really mean it.

Not many.

How many people do you think really care about you and all that you do?

Not many.

Why should I be subjected to how you and your boyfriend or girlfriend went through a horrible fight the other day?

Why should I care that you and your significant other are the cutest thing, and omg #goals?

So I can feel that much more lonely?

Feeling alone and dead inside but appearing alive and warm outside isn’t as hard as it seems.

Hey, I mean, I must be doing a hella good job

Cause that's #storyofmylife for the past decade plus.

I don’t want to be dramatic

I don’t want to be labelled an “attention seeker”

Because I’m not.

But hey, when did people ever care about the truth?
They only care about entertainment.

My problems, my insecurities

Their headlines and news of the day to relieve the boredom of being ignorant.

Feeling alone isn’t wrong.

Feeling alone is a problem because for a society that says we’re “all connected” obviously, we’re not.

Somehow, the people who feel like me were cast out of society.

Somehow, the people like them were placed at the head

And somehow they came up with a great idea to use us as entertainment.

Their next movie

Next broadway show

Next hollywood tragedy.

I am not a show.

If you don’t intend to listen to my story then please, kindly butt your way out like you butt your way in and leave me alone.

I don’t need your self-gratifying pity.

I don’t want to take a selfie so you can post it so people know what a “good deed” you’ve done.

I don’t smile in pictures anymore because it looks so out of place at this point.

So let me point you in the direction of reality.

Wake up.

My life, OUR lives

They’re not just for show.

The next time you want to use me as a side freak and tell all your little friends about how weird I am

Let me tell you

You are a horrible human being for pretending to help.

I wasted my time

Wasted my breathe

Wasted my precious seconds of healing

Only to be hurt by your self-satisfying ego.

Feeling alone is not some drama.

Feeling abandoned is not something words can change.

Feeling so utterly lost that your tears are the only guide you have is not something that needs to be “fixed”.

WE don’t need to be “fixed”.

We need to be healed.

If anyone needs fixing, it’s you.