I feel them slide down my throat,
Painless as I sip water to help them down,
One by one.

Yet, I feel the pain of each one,
Just like a physical blow.
And I think to myself,
"It's for the best."

But it's not.

Taking these pills won't bring him back,
But I still try.
One by one.

I fall asleep not long after the last pill slides down.
And I awake screaming.
"It didn't work!" I almost said.
The pain unbearable as the pills burn through my body.

I tell my mother.
Next, an ambulance arrives,
And the paramedics treat me like dirt for what I've tried.
I don't blame them.

I'm in the hospital,
And it all blurs.
I hear them talking.
"She shouldn't be alive. These levels are too high."
And I shouldn't.

I was in the mental hospital next,
And stayed for a week.
It helped some I think.
But I will never forget that night, and that emptiness as I swallowed the plls.
One by one

I'm better now,
And going to college between this year and junior year of high school.

I'm glad I'm alive now,
though I never bought I would be.

I'm just glad they didn't work.
Those pills.
Though I still feel them.
One by one...