Your silent whispers in the night

Your disapproving tones

Your excited yells

Your straight lined no nonsense lips

Always telling me "to do better"

Your soft pat on my shoulder telling me to "stop doing drugs"

Yet you're the one who wants to own a weed farm

Always making me feel better when I'm in one of my moods 

Even when you're not here I hear your voice whispering in my head

Telling me to go ahead to bed

That we'll figure it tomorrow, together

I hold whole conversations with this invisible voice

All the while wishing you were here instead

Tossed papers

Ripped notebooks

You seem to sit there at my desk shaking your head

Telling me to give it a rest

Suddenly I see an old piece of paper and pull out an old birthday card from you

That makes me laugh, cry, and silently scream

I rip through all my things trying to find papers that mean the most to me

Thank you, my dear

For even when you're not there you still help me through my troubled times

You're one of my best friends 

And the best gift I've ever gotten