The Old Lady in the Candy Cottage

There was an old lady deep in the forest


Her house was much sweeter than all of the rest.


The walls were of cookie, chocolate and sugar


The inside was sweeter than the outside by far


Each day the old lady baked more and more sweets


But not one morsel would she ever eat


She guarded her home from thieving creatures


Missing a single crumb would ruin its features


Nothing made the old lady gleam with such pride


Than her delicious candy cottage on the quiet mountain side


One day, two children came moseying about


While the cottage was empty and the old lady was out


Selfish young things with a hunger for sweets


The greed of their sweet tooth nothing could beat


Once they spotted the cottage and found no one there


They gleamed at each other and said “should we dare?”


“Why yes we should Grethel, how could we not?”


“But Hansel, my brother, what if we get caught?”


“Don’t worry sweet sister, no one is here!”


“Very well! Let’s go eat, Hansel my dear!”


They ravished and gorged themselves without stop


Eating every part, even the roof top


Whilst munching, the old lady came back


To see her poor house that had been ransacked


She let out the most terrible, horrifying scream


That Hansel and Grethel fell from the licorice beam


Little did they know the house they were eating


Belong to a witch and they were in for a beating


“You destroyed my home you beastly snots!”


“I will destroy you and leave your bodies to rot!”


The old lady screamed through a river of tears


Her precious cottage ruined, one of her greatest fears


Before the kids could react, she yelled out a spell


That swooped them in a cage before they could yell


“Let’s see how you like to be eaten, you brats!”


And started a pot filled with spice and animal fats


She stewed one in a pot and roasted one in the oven


And called up all the other witches from her local coven


Together they feasted and ate their fill


None of the food would any of them spill


This goes to show, don’t be a greedy beast


Otherwise you might end up an old witch’s feast



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