Oh how Is it fair

When all I have tried to do was to make you happy,

I bent over backwards for you,

I have crushed my feelings to try to prevent fights,

Slowly killing myself in my own mind.

Oh how is it fair

When I can’t get upset without you getting upset far worse,

Or when I have to walk on egg shells

When you have a bad day,

Worrying if we are going to fight,

Oh how is it fair

That I have to always take care of the children

Never getting a day off, a day to myself,

No, I always have to take the kids with me, giving you time away from them

I can never sleep in anymore because your sleep is far more precious than mine

Even tho I am awake all through the night with them.

How is it fair

That every night I ask you to make one midnight bottle,

You throw a fit, just like our toddler.

You get mad o easily, even when all things are well.

It’s not fair, that I do all that I do to be walked over,

It’s not fair that I constantly get barked at,

It’s not fair when I get so frustrated that I snap, and you make it all my fault,

It’s not fair that I have to raise three children instead of the two I have

It’s not fair that no matter what I do, I am in the wrong, even tho I am correct.

It’s not fair how poorly you have been treating me, yet you are too stubborn,

Most of all it’s not fair to my children,

They deserve the father that was promised to them in the womb

They deserve the loving man you used to be

They deserve the dad that cared better for other children instead of his own

They deserve more love, not yelling.

They are amazing, and very smart.

You only need to open your eyes

The 5 month old shouldn’t get yelled at for refusing to take his bottle,

Or when his little feet get in the way of a dirty diaper.

No, he’s too young to know better, he need love and compassion.

Or the 3-year-old that is completely amazing for his age,

And you yell at him for not going fast enough

Or not listening all the time

He is young, he need love and guidance.

You do not realize,

That your anger is affecting them too

You do not realize

That they will do the same thing to women in their lives

From the example you are giving them

You do not realize

that they act out more from the anger

when you can give them choices and they will learn.

You do not realize

That you are hurting us all, mentally,

Killing out compassion towards you every day

All because you wish not to take a pill everyday

You do not realize

that all the money you spent on lottery will hurt us,

when the children will need help someday

You will know

That when you constantly called me a nag

All I was trying to do was help

You will know

That all the times you told them to shut up or bugger off

That someday they will listen and not want to be near you

You will know

That I had tried, for so long, and will give up on you

For the hope I had in you is gone.

You will know

That I did love you once, but can’t any more

For each day, the way you treat me, kills me more and more inside

Until all I have for you is hate.

You will know

That all the times you controlled me,

Drove me more and more away from you.

You will know

That being stubborn was the wrong thing to do

Because not getting help, will result in losing your family

Losing all the ones that loved you for who you were.

For you cannot love

someone who has no trust

Who has nothing but the anger that was taught to him

You cannot love

Someone who isn’t willing to try

And fix the marriage for the sake of happiness.

Anger is all around us, some can control it, and others can’t

But know this it takes someone strong to get help

It takes someone strong to realize that they were wrong

It takes someone strong to fix the mistakes that were right in their face.

Get help because it doesn’t just affect you, if affects us all.