Numbers Consume

Numbers, no im not talking about math or accounting or statistics im talking about life.

By the time I was a born my life was run by numbers; when I eat, when I nap.  

My life was a schedule and I did something every 2 or 3 hours.

Milk at 6am nap at 8am and repeat.

Then as I got older I learned that I was defined by a number; my age, my grade.

People never asked me what I wanted to be but what grade I was making in a subject and how old I was.

Why not my aspirations instead?

As I became more intellectual my hobbies were ran by numbers; Food consumed, time and speed.

No one asked me whether I liked running they simply asked how fast is your mile? No one asked when’s your next match but told me to put more fuel in my body.

Numbers, they became too suffocating; my weight, my height.

Sooner or later I realized I’m only a number.  No wonder other girls my age are going through eating disorders.

Life was about how much space I took up or what size clothing I could fit in.

When will life be more about living than about numbers?

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741