I’ve been at this party about half of the night

Uncomfortable just doesn’t seem to describe it right

No one seems to feel me, like or hear me

No I can’t keep breathing

Don’t feel like leaving

But I know I have to go

It’s not the music; it’s not the bass

It’s not the booze because I’m not faced

With the reality, impurity

The possibility of losing the race

Now I’m leaving for no reason

I wish I were a chameleon

At least then I would be able to deal with it

 

Sip a drink; puff a smoke

Have a snort or take a toke

Or you won’t be feeling the kind of dope

The kind of things like diamond rings

The brighter things in life

Won’t make you choke on the smoke

Of the hoax that you’ve been joking about

I’m broke, not stoked

Kind of low key wanting to go

So I’m leaving, not staying

Because I can’t really be

Any place with this feeling

 

I don’t know where I’m going

But I know it’ll be better than here

I will break through the other side

And I hope I just won’t disappear

 

Let me paint you a picture

With the words from my mouth

And hope you don’t miss out

On what I’m saying or how I’m conveying it

No one ever hears me complain

About this kind of pain or shame

Awkward, weird, balloon deflation

Kind of bad at keeping conversations

Duration of a nation under God

Indivisible, invisible is how I feel

Wall to wall and reel to reel

 

Deaf, dumb and blind

Won’t you run and hide; defy

To find me on the other side of a spectrum

Not the victim of the system

But a pendulum swinging from the end of my rope
I don’t belong here; I don’t belong there

I don’t belong anywhere

Too queer too square

To fit in anywhere

You see I’m not what I appear to be

There’s always more to every book you read

 

I don’t know where I’m going

But I know it’ll be better than here

I will break through the other side

And I hope I just don’t disappear

 

Sometimes the noose on my tongue is pulling tighter

Making me feel like a bit more of an outsider

I’m more of a lover, not a fighter

“Stay golden Ponyboy” & hand me your lighter

Cop a bit of an attitude

I tend to come off as rude

If everything I say is so crude

Why don’t you make a move?

Can’t sit still

Can’t pay attention

Insubordinate insurrection

Detection of an inflection

That is falsely representing

 

Repent and repeat

Attack and retreat

But never admit defeat to the beat

Of the drum that pounds inside my heart

Under my thumb I fall apart

People tell me that I’d go far

If I would just put down the guitar

Focus, unfocused

The hocus pocus

That keeps me in between

The different cliques and scenes

The type A’s and type B’s

I never wanted to be like them

Because labels don’t own me

 

I don’t know where I’m going

But I know it’ll be better than here

I will break through the other side

And I hope I just don’t disappear