A Note To You

I am sitting in my room and I'm getting consumedby these emotions and I feel like I am doomed.I feel like I am trash that got swept by a broom.I am in a bad mood listening to sad tunes. I am feeling a lot of pain and don't want it to turn to hate.I know she just can't help how she feels, but I still think she's great.Maybe getting so close might've been a mistake.How can I like her so much and not even been on a date? I think this truly sucks because I really did like her.Our situation is rough and I feel like I would fight forher if I knew that she felt the same way.I'm thinking about it now, who knows if she felt the same? Maybe she is playing me just like I am a game.Even if that is true, she is still the first thought in brain.I like her even though she is the one to changemy stance on being single. That really isn’t the same. I never really thought that I'd be down.Relationships aren’t my thing and I know how that sounds.This girl really has my head spinning around.But now I feel like I'm the fool, a circus clown. When we are together we always have so much fun.You went back to your ex-boyfriend, so now I think I’m done.You are intelligent, beautiful, and your future is bright like the sun.But now that he is back in your life, I feel like he has won. How can you expect for you and I to just be friends?I need you to respect that I liked you and this is how it ends.Last night I had a dream that I'm driving a BenzDo you want to know if you were there? That depends on how much that you like me, and if you are lying.I never used to do this with girls, it was too much trying.I feel like we are standing on the ground and I want to be flying.When you first read this, I hope it doesn't leave you crying. Even though I probably know the answer.It is like breaking your leg on stage if you were a dancer.Or bad news like a doctor who has just said cancer. I'm surely going to miss all of our flirting and cute banter. Now I want to tell you what I know you're going to miss.You’ll miss my personality and the way I kiss.You’ll miss messing with me and laughing in the bliss.I never really thought that you'd walk away from this. But you really did, so I know that it's over.I have to move on in a straight line like a soldier.I have to keep a straight face like I'm playing poker.Now I put the good times in my memory folder. Don't twist what I said, I really had a blast.Now I have to move on and put you in the past.I’m sad I couldn't prove you wrong, I think things went too fast.If you know me, you know I hate coming in last. I am thinking about it now and I just really wanted a chance.I know it really sucks because the circumstancethat you are in doesn’t allow you to enhanceany feelings that you might've had at last glance. I hope you remember that first time in the car.When we kissed on the way home from the bar.We went to the diner and then we came home. I was in awebecause that first kiss might've sent me to the stars. Fast forward a couple months and now there's just a scarfrom that time you grabbed my back, and then you clawed.I didn’t realize losing you would be this hard.Oh my god, I really should've been on guard. I'm not going to lie, all that pain really hurt.But what I'm feeling now is so much worse.I can't even describe it nor put it in a verse.I hope you get to graduate and become a nurse. I don't want to be malicious, I just want the best for you.I have some things going on and I don't want to stress you too.You say that you like me, but who knows if that’s really true.Now I'm doing my own thing just like I was blessed to do.I would give up everything, I'd even give up the world.I would give up anything so I can call you my girl.If you were with me, I'd buy you diamonds and pearls.That is not all if you entered into my world. I would tell you everything and you'd have all my trust.I would be the perfect boyfriend because that’s a mustand even after years together there would still be lust.Anything that I would do, we have already discussed. It would be all laughs and we'd even have a date night.We’d have it on a rooftop as long as you’re not scared of heights.I’m looking at the city and I'm seeing all the pretty lights.I would be mesmerized just because you’re in my sight. But I know this won't happen and it’s not even a might.Don’t get the wrong idea, this is not out of spite.The reason that I’m writing this is I am just kind of tightbecause you tell me you're going left, and then you make a right. If we were together I know that we would never fightbecause if we argue, I would just say you are right.When I make a lot money I would take you on a flight.Or we can just go to the park and watch our kids fly kites. I have a lot of things going on and I don't know what to write.I just wish you were a princess so I could be your knight.Just tell me you still like me even if it's only slight.Even though you won't pick me, so this must be goodnight. I wake up with a multitude of mixed emotions.My feelings keep on shifting and changing like the oceans.Should I really show her this? There might be a huge commotion.I decide to give it to her, but I’m moving in slow motion. I know I have to give it to her, I have to show her how I feel.I can’t do it in front of her though, my face I can’t reveal.I put it in her mailbox and now I know it’s real.I know it would mean more to talk to her and this is not ideal. Everyone has that one person, one relationship that they can say changed them.How do I know if this is that relationship and if it is not, how will I know when?



A poem submitted to my class, thought about tunring it into something big someday, just taking it one day at a time.

Hope you all enjoy :)

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