Not Enough Tape

A year ago

I was wrapping gifts in red ribbons

shaking bells around a Christmas fire

And using a half of a roll of tape per gift wrapped

Today, a year later I lay in bed

Bones and tissue fibers too weak to allow me to stand

It feels as though my own thoughts have managed

To tie knots around my feet

It was October 14th when your body decided to let you down

A colon infection?

That’s nothing, right?

Perfect heartbeat, perfect bloodwork

But your vitals played tricks on us

And on that hopeful afternoon

Every drip of hope I had left in my glass,

Was drained down the sink

The mother who adopted me,

Who braided my hair and fed me

Was gone before Christmas

Gone before I could tell her

I love you more than you know

This year I’ll be wrapping presents, coated in too much tape

Placing them under the same old PVC Christmas tree

Dreaming of your cozy sweaters and your red lipstick

On Christmas day

I guess I’ll have to wear red lipstick in your place

Merry Christmas, Mom

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