NonExistent

Thu, 09/05/2013 - 20:30 -- Desarae

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To the man that I call my father,
I know how you feel,
I don't mean to put you out there,
but some of us are in fear.

Many more are like you,
hopefully these words will help you hear,

            normal people

                        longing for acceptance

                                    by their peers.

You don't want anything to do with us
when we're in our own personal shoes.
Unfortunately I am part of that unfortunate group.

I should not say unfortunately,
but Bits and Pieces do not accompany
these people and their truths.

I took part in a silent protest,
mainly to change your opinion,
but you are stubborn and ignorant
you chose not to listen.

Off to Neverland, my mind flew,
all because you decided to loathe the LGBTQ crew.
There I escaped from the judgmental slurs.
No need to hide

            the pain inside

                        to keep you blind

                                    from what you would describe

                                                as a wrong turn.

 

I love the bond we have,
and I was scared to come out to you.
I have the fear that you'll disown me,
and leave me feeling like a fool.

And you did.
You said the most twisted words to me.
Put me in a position where I believed you thought that She was going to ruin my future. I've had her by my side for over a year, and nothing has gone wrong.

Pointless Restrictions:
Dad, our bond was still strong before you found out, why change things now?
You liked her when she was a friend, and she still is, why change things now?
You have no plausible reason to be scared! Stop trying to change things!

One day you say I can tell you anything,
but I guess it was because you were in despair.
We were best friends, you told me everything, and I wanted to do the same.

My mistake: I lost my best friend.
The same hate and fear inside of you,
is the same hate and fear that killed many people during WWII.
Be different. Be humane.
Don't say shit like,
“One day you must give me grandchildren”
Honestly dad, there's nothing wrong with queers.

And trust me Dad, I want a son, and when I have him, I'll name him Liam. Science is on my side, it’s improving, along with society. You said just because it's 2013 doesn't mean gays are accepted, but I'm welcomed in many places. My sexuality does not change who I am, my intelligence, or opportunities. If anything it makes me happy. She makes me smile, when you make me cry.

Please don't say it's just a phase.
My response will be, "phases don’t last approximately three thousand six hundred and fifty days"
I know it sounds insane,
but as far back I can remember is my kindergarten age.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It pains me to hear someone I love dearly say,
"There's no such thing, you have to go one way."
These words have stayed with me for more than a year,
those aren't my father's words, but it used to bring me to tears.

Not anymore, because he's on my side.
He finally understands and sees through my eyes.
I've been waiting for him to talk to you,
but when the time is right he will.
In the mean time, you should listen to Same Love by Macklemore-
It kills.
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mom, you confuse the hell out of me. You know She is a good person, you say all you want is my happiness, so why aren't you accepting us? You don't make sense half the time, and you contradict yourself so much that I can't understand what you want or who you are.
I know myself better than you know yourself,
so please stop trying to find a way around my sexuality.

You give me Unnecessary Emotions:
I feel like a splinter.
I am unwanted,
I am a sin.

You don’t want me to be a splinter,
you hide how you feel.
You'll cover me up with a band aid and think that'll make me heal.

But I am not an infection,
it is not contagious.
I have pricked your finger,
thank Jebus you said shit.
That means you know I’m here
and you've felt a small amount of the pain and suffering I’m about to let out.

That prick was nothing; imagine 44 times that "ouch"
Your discrimination against my intuition is an abomination.

I am putting my foot down.
I will not let you take my description.
Without a depiction, I cannot portray myself
because by then I'll be nonexistent.
   
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sincerely,

             DME

 

 

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