Here I am with my eyes opened wide

My jeans covering itchy thighs no lies

Typing at a computer in a nearby college

Doing sociology homeowrk to increase my knowledge

Having four eyes isn't enoughh to see

And being alive isn't enough to be

I am going to be blunt as fuck

Telling you what is up 

In my life and through these brown eyes.

 

Everyday it is like a sing an ode of depression

Here I am settling

For everything that is less and

I am stuck, not really learning my lesson

Reality sucks I believe

But I feed myself lies and allow myself to be deceived.

 

Drake says fuck a fake friend where your real friends at

I say fuck ALL friends, being yourself is where it's at

In the end, we walk this world alone

With peeps lingering at the side

All the peeps, they are trying to survive

Here I am and still still I rise with the intent

Meet someone heaven, but it seems happiness is a lie

It seems to be the illusion of the mind when reality sucks

And the people around you don't give a fuck

And I mean don't give a two shit

Even if it was a one shit, two shit, red, white, and blue shit

If I said this aloud I would be dismissed

I leave the library and its me that I am with

 

They ask me who I am, they say no filter

I say good, we don't need an AC this is the winter

I don't need a false reason to be cool

I am tired of trying to look rad and fucking up in school

I am tired of my depression

My mind lives in oppression

I'm tired of knowing where to go but walking the wrong direction

I am tired of looking in the mirror and fucking wanting to cry

Sitting on my ass, don't do shit and asking God why

I remember seeing the pain in my mom's eyes

When I told her I wanted to commit suicide

Since the day she picked up the phone and bawled on the other end

I tried to get my mind right and started to do work on my end.

It has been a journey and it was nice living it

But me living based on people equals me not doing shit

 

Today's the day that I chose to make a change 

I have a life to rearrange

I am tired of being detained

By this prison called my mind

Where the negative thoughts lie

And the hurt multiplies

As tears fill my eyes.

This story is not going to have a sad ending

In the end I will be winning with nominations pending

I will breathe success

No longer oppressed

By the "mind" arrest

 

My four eyes are opened wide to a possibility

In my reality, I am getting opportunities

From the NAACP to writing stories

I hold my own glory

On two callused hands that will also write my story

My past should not be a reason to be bitter

I am sorry I cursed, but they said no filter