My Ugly Beauty

I am not seen as being entirely female.

If asked on a survey

The number one problem with me

That my friends wish to address

Is my appearance.

 

They want to reinvent me

Through new shoes,

New clothes,

New jewelry,

A new face.

 

Because to them

If you are,

And identify to be

A female,

You must look like one.

 

So I stand in my boots

That are falling apart

On my feet

In my jeans

That make me look shapeless

My T-shirt that hangs off my shoulders awkwardly

Making me look homeless

My hoodie

Is slightly too big

And make me look boxy

My bare face

Announcing to the world

“I got two hours of sleep last night!”

And the hat on my head

Is my way of saying

“I really did not want to wash my hair”

And they ask that I change.

 

I know they mean well

But they do not realize

How much that request hurts.

I rarely wear dresses

Because the breeze,

Makes me uncomfortable

I like make-up

But when I’m tired

It’s heavy

And it makes me want to destroy

CoverGirl Headquarters

And heels

Terrify me

 

I know how to dress up

And when I do

People listen to me

Because they can see

My power and confidence.

 

But for now,

I almost literally woke up like this.

I rolled out of bed

And put on my favorite boots

That makes my walk to class,

Less dreadful

I put on my favorite jeans

That let me sit

However I want

I put on my favorite T-shirt

The one that says,

“My sense of style,

Has not changed,

Since the sixth grade”

My favorite hoodie

That gives me a warm hug

Everytime I feel so stressed

That I can’t breathe

And my favorite beanie

So that when my mind starts to wander

My thoughts do not drift out into space

But stay with me

And fall out onto the page

Where my imagination comes to life

Telling my story through metaphor and allusion

Making me the master of my world.

 

And my face does not have an inch of makeup

Because my curious eyes are so big

They don’t need eyeliner to be seen

Because my chapstick

Lets my ideas pass my lips

Without getting stuck in sticky gloss

Because my dark circles

Are my way of letting you know

That I can conquer the world

Even when I’m so tired

I can’t remember which way is up

 

You may think that

I am lazy

Because I put no effort

Into my appearance

But I am too busy

Exploring the mysteries of the world

To be bothered with my own face

 

When given the option of

Ten more minutes of sleep

Or “looking cute”

I chose sleep

Because my bed is soft

And in my dream

Women who are not

“Flawless”

Are beautiful too

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741