I am the subject to so much ridicule

...in my mind.

In my mind, 

I am the enemy.

I am  both the angel and Devil.

In my mind, 

I am hated and feared.

I am the running joke except...

I'm in on it.

In my mind,

with the help of my body,

I am a prisoner.

Anxiety has yet to discard me.

We remain close friends.

She helps me keep my distance.

In my mind,

She loads the gun

while my body pulls the trigger.

No matter how I try to get away 

from her grip,

She always finds away...