I just read your letter and I think it's ironic
cause there’s no address on it so no returning to sender.
Words so useless I’m left confused on what to do with this?
You suppose to be the man that help me get through some shit
but instead, you was just never there.
You can’t write that you care and never show it
I'm supposed to be in awe now because you a poet.
What about being a father?
Being the ideal man that should marry your daughter
but I don’t even know what you like.
Then you have the balls to blame it all on your wife
oh, I’m sorry your baby Mama.
Who had every damn right to serve you that drama!
Cause you were never in town
or at least at our house
cause rumor was you slept around.
Just like my Mama though
none of those women could lock you down.
You were always on the run.
You were always having fun.
Never looking back at all the bridges you burned
and what your destruction had done.
So I hope the fire burns you alive
cause you’re not a man I don’t like, you’re a man I despise.
I had to learn to stop believing the lies
that I had something to do with it.
That you and Mom were fine before I came and I’m the one who ruined it.
Surely it must be because my eyes aren’t purty
or maybe if I make my hair more curly or wavy.
My dad will come back and save me from
all the dick heads who played me.
When they said that you are my baby
and when I look at you I can’t think of any other lady.
So I trusted him dad but he locked his door and he chose to rape me.
All the men in my life have been shady and that started with your disappearance.
My Mama tried her best but she couldn’t fill the role of being two parents.
The hole you left in my heart is apparent and it became so glaring
that I couldn’t see but I’m still swearing that the reason daddy’s not home
has something to do with me so I refused to eat.
Thinking if I just get skinnier than a toothpick.
I’ll have your approval aw yeah that’ll do the trick
but I got real sick and became anemic.
The doctor said I can’t just stop eating
and they started treating me for an eating disorder.
You said you’re living in hell
well why don’t you try being your daughter?
I lived a life full of physical and emotional slaughter
but wounds heal and scars add to my spiritual shield.
So much so that it became unbreakable
and it's unmistakable that
I am Brilliant Exciting Amazing Unafraid Tailor-made Young unapologetic woman
and don’t you ever forget it.
So now I am happy, but it's for damn sure
not because you’re my Daddy.