My First Love

My First Love

 


Happiness, Rain

Love, Pain

Wishing that I could use only two

Of these four words to describe you.

Four years of great,

Four years of hate.

Wishing that I only had a few

Or some chances of new.

I’m ripping you out

So I may remain happy

Without a doubt.

 

We started so strangely, so odd

Just like most of my other great stories

We got together, you threw me out

And then welcomed me in a loving embrace.

So scarred, was I, that I didn’t know

Just what strange dance awaited me so

Those first few years are ones I shall never

Forget.

How I wish I could.

 

You’re ingrained in me now

I’ll never get you out.

Sometimes I’d sit alone,

I’d scream and shout

Knowing that I’d never be heard.

Who would care about just one

More turd?

Sitting here now, I can’t help but laugh

For fate is so evil, so cruel

It seems almost too perfect, for all this

To work.

 

So much time went by, but I hardly blinked.

I cried and I cried, from laughter and pain.

Little did I know that it was my soul

You intended to have slain.

You tried to conform me, to have me

Be one of yours.

But I figured you out halfway through.

Now I am a different project, something

Fresh and new

Something no one else

Could duplicate.

 

Four years of Happiness

Four years of pain

Who would have guessed

That I’d still be sane?

But close to the end

My reward was sent.

She is my love now

(or so I hope)

She has replaced you,

Wanna know how?

She soothes and holds me

When I need it most.

She doesn’t show me affection at first,

And then throw me a roast.

So, my love, I bid you adieu.

My heart is in a better place

But sometimes, it wants you.

I have to remind it of your hostility

And it thinks straight.

It remembers only your love,

And neglects your hate.



So now, my first love, here are my feelings

Go on now, and resume your dealings.

For I know you best, for I loved you most

And, later when you tell others of me, I know you will boast

Of the one that you had

And, now lost, you are sad.

And so now, my first love, I go on with her

And leave you outside, and with a bad rhyme to end it.  Burr.

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