My eyes used to shine so bright but then it changed.
days, weeks, months a year had gone by.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled with ease.
Everything was black so I painted my wrists red
in hopes that it would bring color.
I became addicted to the pain
because that meant I felt something.
I didn’t know that it could get any worse
until it did.
Every breath got heavier and harder to take.
It had been three years
I was not okay.
But then I was.
They said fight and I fought like hell
Everyday was a new battle but each of these scars is a demon that I conquered
I won’t lie when I tell you it was scary
I won’t lie when I tell you it was hard
I won’t lie anymore about being happy
I looked at my therapist and said we did this and she said no you did this
I did this me me me like a three year old showing off I will boast
And I will be damned if I let anybody take that away from me
They say “you look so good”
They say “wow look at you so healthy”
And you work for this you live for this
They say “you have a beautiful smile” and they are right I do
I no longer see myself as my diagnosis
[severe depressive disorder]
These are no longer what hang above my head
Instead my labels read
And I am these things I can be these things I am whoever I want to be
My eyes they shine so bright