What is my depression?

I feel lonely,

I feel pain,

I feel emptyness.

What is my depression?

I feel a noose tied around my neck,

I feel a razor cut into my skin, 

I feel a gust of wind drift up from stories below.

What is my depression?

I sit here with a pen in hand, 

Calculating reasons like a mathmatician devising endless derivatives.

But I cannot figure why.

There is no answer,

No letter,

No word

For my depression.

It strikes and haunts,

Whispers and screams,

Fits and calms.

There is too many words to describe it,

Each one contradicting the last.

My chest is hollow with the echo of a lonely heart beat.

Why?

Why am I always sad?

Why am I always angry?

Why will no one accept my hand in love?

Has my love been inflated in your eyes

And lost all of its value?

Has my depression become the only one accepting of my offer?

I wake up each day with it next to me,

And fall asleep every night rapped in its arms.

All I need is someone else to accept me,

That way depression gets kicked to the floor 

And something else takes its place beside me.