Hey, Mister German!
Do you remember that one time
You stood in front of my whole US2 class and
Spun like fabric a theory about us
In your nasal-y voice (no offense)
You said (paraphrased, of course; I could never do the story justice):
If you came to this place before you started kindergarten
You’re doomed to return and spend the rest of your life here
You’ll be able to escape for a while
Maybe you’ll go to some fancy college out-of-state
But it doesn’t matter. You’ll come back.
And this hell-hole will make you give back
For the rest of your freakin’ life.
You were bitter as hell
I mean, I would be too, if
I were bald, 41, skinny
You certainly weren’t
Living The Dream
But screw that- I’m here to tell you
That I’m going to disprove your pretentious little theory.
I’m going to take my four years of high-school schoolin’ (high-schoolin’?)
and bet it all on four (or more) years of college
It’s so risky- I got to throw down a gazillion dollars a year
Just to play the game
But, little does the dealer know, I’ve got my
He’ll deal me a cruddy starting hand (a 10 and a 6)
But I’ll be one step further
I’ll whip out my PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM
A squared plus B squared = C squared
and then, just before he knows what to do,
I’ll get the derivative of that shiz (with respect to the change in time)
Boom, Blackjack. Insta-cash.
That equation’s so useful, I’ll clear out Vegas’s vaults with it
With all the money I’ll win from my math learnings,
I’ll have to pay taxes and bills probably
I’ll invest in some stock and lose it all
And as my world comes crashing down around me,
I’ll remember Newton’s second law
Force = mass times acceleration
The force of my screw-up
is clearly equal to the amount of matter inside me
times the speed at which I made bad decisions
I’ll have to climb back up the hard way
With the god-damned American Dream
Gatsby believed in the green light!
Yo- if I see a green light down the road
I’m not going to think, “Oh, how wonderful! Symbolism, in my life!”
I’m just gonna put my car in D
I’ll burn up the track all over the world
Expendin’ ATP like a trucker drops gas money
And when I’ve got my Ferrari and my hot wife and my front lawn
and my 3.14159265 kids
I’ll come back to this town, just to rub it in your face
That I was the one that got away.
But I can see it already
In the walls of this “hell-hole"
In my future and in your victorious eyes
That for four years
With the friends, the learning, the adventures, and the music
I was actually (get this)
I was actually, really, legitimately
Living The Dream.