Being surrounded by loved ones temporarily make me feel strong,  but the silence of my house causes reality and I realize you are really gone.  Over and over again trying to convince myself this is merely a dream, I cry out to God pleading for him to wake me up and remove me from this horrific scene.  Walking down my hall I can feel the heart-break once again and it starts all over, getting chills down my spine sensing that it is you I feel touching my shoulder.   As I turn my head I say a prayer under by breathe, "Please God let me see my mother standing there", but it's only my imagination and I get stuck standing with a confused blank stare.  I am trying to understand why our life together was cut so suddenly and short, but I remember what you taught me about never questioning God and leaning on him for the most support.  So with this I know you are where you wanted to be, standing with granny and pops in heaven with our Lord finally pain free.  As broken as my heart may be right now, I want to seem as if I'm strong and teach my own children how.  You are and always will be the strongest woman I've ever known, and it is because of you that I am able to completely stand on my own.  Doing more than most, you had to be not only my mom but also my dad,  meaning the moment I lost you, I lost everyone that I ever had.  I watched you work hard just to be both parents, this is something about you I'll always truly cherish.  Although I may never again see you physically when I'm in need of my mom, I will never stop talking to you because spiritually I know that you are never gone.  These bodies are temporary, but the soul never goes away, and in my heart I can hear you telling me "This is where I shall eternally stay"!