Existing can be confusing.

Thrown into the world,

you attempt to manage.

You follow.

You agree.

Regardless of whether you really do, in fact, concur.

But being a duckling for so long doesn't make it any easier to find a sense of self.

Following others around who seem to have already figured it out,

You copy.

You clone.

However, what is a clone supposed to do without the original?

What is the the duckling supposed to do once it has nothing to follow?

It is to be singular, one, unique- that is to say: individualistic.

The intimidation that ensues of living your life for so long not knowing what you are despite others seeming to have it all figured it out can be crippling.

By high school, you are trying to learn what it is to be youtself, but the you in the mirror just isn't enough.

You aren't smart enough.

You aren't funny enough.

You. Are not. Enough.

Despite already being the person you aspire to be, the mirror is too cloudy.

The image is too distorted.

When people praise you for the achievements you've gotten, it never really sticks.

People can let contempt go in one ear and out the other, most forget that the same can be said for acclaim as well.

Much like climbing a summit where the peak only seems to get farther away and your pack only seems to get heavier,

Your standards for yourself exponentially elude you.

Life dulls.

The jealousy of others' character grows on in bitter silence.

Never letting a hint of it spill when you speak.

Yet when they do something that is astonishing,

You don't feel happy for them.

You feel like you could never achieve the degree of achievement that they seem to touch so easily.

And because you know you should be happy for them, you feel even worse.

Why do you keep digging your own grave?

It's simple.

You want to be the best version of yourself, but you try way too hard to do it.

You look too deeply into insignificant events.

You try too hard to be kind, reliable, likeable, etc.

You can't seem to wipe away the doubt.

You can't see.

You're blind to the fact that the person you want to be... is the person you are... the person I am.

It's time to stop this cycle before it leads down the wrong road.

Of course, wiping away the condensation on my mirror won't stop it from coming back, however, all I have to do is to find the strength to wipe it clean once again.