As I tried the baby cried I could hear it's wail it emanates from a room within the subconscious emotional memories can be found within its walls no response despite your many calls. Years could go by as you continue to lie leading up to a day when you may say why even try. You see, this precious child .when neglected will let you know your adult will run wild like a child without rules to follow life becomes a hard pill to swallow. I step back and stand erect as I try to connect with my little boy . I begin by admitting my sin I apologize for not letting him in . For a lifetime of neglect and down right abuse . I had my muse and looked away need the Lord's help so that I can stay to my dismay I do not know if he listens or cares alas I go on asking my little boy what he wants me to do. Who he wants me to be . He turns to me with his beutiful brown eyes long enough to silence his cries. So innocent adorable and cute would make the most loquacious man go mute. I see him struggle and writhe about but I can tell he wants to shout something anything so I will listen and hear a message so clear and precise there can be no doubt . I place my hands underneath his body raising him up into my arms how could I forsake this lucky charm. I gently caress his tiny face as I lean back in my rocking chair not a care in the world in this very moment I patiently await taking great pains not to be late. Cant miss a thing . The baby sighs and takes a big breath. And then it happened before my eye this beutiful baby let's out one more cry. Dont die I scream someone pinch me this must be a dream . I need to know what he had to say. Just then a voice a feeling from within his soul and up above tells me. Choose love. My heart soared as I embraced my little boy a tear rolls down my cheek as I begin to weep. It's been so so long I've grown deaf to the song it wanted me to hear . I suffered so all those years that went by I did not even try . I place the boy down ever so gently. And watch him as he crawls walks and fades away. Leaving me alone in the room without much to say. I feel so thankful and blessed. Ill remember this every morning when i get dressed. I let out a sigh thinking that's the last time I will cry . Say goodbye to the old self grab my belongings from the lone shelf in the room . As I leave I make a desicion from this day forth I will keep my eyes due north lean into the fear take heathy risks imagine a beutiful white dove as i embrace a life dedicated to giving and receiving love