Like the mirrors I scrutinize myself in
I pause for a moment-
I consider every facet of my being and every part of me that makes me myself
And I. Am. Trembling.
Because the mirrors show me who I THINK I am
The person that I think everyone can see
And I don’t want them to see me.
I don’t want them to see the imperfections and the scars and the physical strain of the growing pains because for a moment
I think that’s what defines me.
I wage war with my skin
The skin I don’t want to be in
And I try so hard to close my eyes shut so tight and dream so fervidly that maybe just maybe
I’m not the person staring back at me.
And when I open my eyes,
Not a single thing has changed.
And I wrack my brain
Trying to find some way to go so I won’t have to be the same
And then I remember how I used to be.
So hungry for feeling complete
I starved myself of everything
And that only left me empty.
And then I start to think- just maybe-
this reflection in the mirror is merely the version of me I can spend so long sculpting and chipping away at into nothing but who I really am
And if I close my eyes so tightly I can start to dream of a future and ambitions and a family and uncover the truest purest genuine me myself
And I. Am. Somebody.
Who is MORE than just a body.
I am living and breathing and still pinch myself because it can be hard to believe this could really be me.
Like a glass half full of positivity
I can see clearly who I am
And fueled by creativity and living with integrity
And with that I think I’m glad I’m me.
And I’m glad I break the mirror and guard the glass-
Because I know reflections only reveal a part of me but clearly
There’s more to be seen.