You know I’ve written poem after poem about you 

kept photos and videos and things that capture your scent 

just because I longed for you 

i love you and I’ve loved you for so long and it hurts so so much 

it’s almost unbearable for me 

but mostly I’m afraid of it 

the way I feel about you 

if I even look at a picture of you with another girl my heart almost skips a beat

youve always kept me at a distance and while I know why I still would like to hear it 

mid like for you to prove me wrong, I’ve loved you for so very long and it’s killing me inside 

i know I can’t force you to accept it and I shouldn’t expect you to return it

(hey let's just be friends) kills me to , you don't understand it's not easy just trying to be friends with you

 When you know me the way you do

For six years of my life I've been in love with you and on almost every single 

Attempt to get over you I fail on my own

While your fine...you only ever loved one girl deeply you say so and she broke you in two 

Just like you've done to me unwillingly

But I forgave you... because I love you and I've longed for you and you've asked me to let go

But am I really the only one holding on because

It doesn't feel that way to me

In my soul I feel u but how can that be with such a sexual history and not much else

But yet I feel as if your a part of me and if you leave me I'd suffocate and I can barely breathe as it is

I try my best not to express these feelings because making you aware will only impowerment you to self loathe in my Misery

 

Your fine and I'm proud of you, your higher than me and always will be

You know how to get to me and make me overly excited but also filled with the desire to give you this love that burns me 

Yet you won't take it

And I feel crazy

To see , here , or know your with another girl has always stung me heart 

And I'd wish that you seeing me with another guy had the same effect on you but I know 

That it can't when you don't feel the truth of our nature like I do

I don't want to give up hope

I don't want to let you go

I don't just want to be friends I want you

I want to experience what being with you is like 

Just once but I NVR will ever and that feels like I'm standing on the sun melting in misery's company

Your fine 

Your strong

Your manly

Your alot of good things 

You've grown alot since we've met those six years ago and I've only put myself down lower

My love for you has hindered me but honestly a big part of myself doesn't care

But I need to care again

Idk I'm so confused

I'm my own posion

I'm toxic to myself and all who choose to befriend me ....

Including you...you'll never see this but this is my good by because I'm just not happy and this depression from trying to force myself to let go of you is harshly destroying me ...you won't see me ...or hear from me

And eventually you'll forget I even met you

 

 

Sooner or later I'll just become a number to you

Not the woman you fall in love with

Marry

And bear your kids with like my dreams keep showing me...and while your living a life like that

I'll still be trying to get over you

 

 

It hurts but maybe it's just the only way ...

Sincerely...haze