Merlin's Memoir

Magic was once real
More than books or fairytales
It had life and meaning
It was its own master
Wizards were simply
We are lent this unexplainable power to use
As we please
People such as myself
Seek to use this power
To balance this world
Seek to corrupt it
This corruption had a name
Queen Mab

The old ways as we called them
They were doomed from the start
The arrow of time points only one direction
Magic too was fading
Into the fog of the past
Mab could not handle this
She would not allow this
She was not going to leave without a fight
Neither was I going to let her win

I saw the future
I made a plan
To find the purest king
To lead all of Britain
To a glorious reign of peace
One of which the earth has never seen
A true
King Of Britain

My first mistake was crowning a man
Whose heart was just as corrupt
As the king before him
How I never saw this I will never know
Perhaps I expected too much from man
And I overlooked their true intentions
When Uther lusted after another man’s wife

I refused to help
To aid this adulteress need
He raged
He threatened
He went to war
I gave in
Why did I give in?
Was it not better to let them go to war?
To let a few men die so that a country can live?
Perhaps fate would have been kind
And it would have killed Uthur instead of her husband
And Arthur would have not been born
But such thoughts are for the fools
The pasts is the past
It cannot be erased

Such a good child
Such a true man of chivalry
Woe to him who had to pay for his father’s mistakes
In pain and blood
When his father was dying
The country turned under
Friends challenged each other
For the throne that none was worthy of

I raised him
That child
Son of an adulter
I taught him to look away from the old ways
That right was honor
And wrong was death
He learned well
He was my pride and joy
He was like a son
My son
My Arthur

I took the sword
And ran it into the stone
Only Arthur
My Arthur
Could retrieve it
And reign as king
Unlike his father
A Chivalries King
I advised him
He listened well
He made a great kingdom

Queen Mad
She had a plan of her own
She too took a child to her side
Morgan Le Fay
Arthur’s half sister
She hated Uthur
She hated Arthur
She hated me
I was taken off guard that day
I knew something was wrong
Arthur laid with his half sister
He brought his own end
His son

I saw the future
I knew my Arthur would die
By his son’s hands
But I could not bear to tell him
Can a child bear the news?
That his closes friend
Has howled his last
So was Arthur
Like that child
It was better to not say
And continue on
Later I had to tell him of this grave news
On the day of his wedding
Oh how I wished that Mordred was dead

Now as this great kingdom grew
So did the need for an heir
To continue the peace
I had many noble women in mind
But Arthur was blind
And let his gaze fall on Gwenever
I pursued him to choose another
I told him the fate of this love
It was not to last
For there was to be another
Sir Lancelot
Never the less
He married her
Yet again
Dooming his future

As his mistakes piled
One on another
I decided it was time
To give him a sword
Worthy of protecting him
Worthy of a king
I brang him to the lady of the lake
Who bestowed to him the mighty sword
I know that I could not protect him forever
For my magic was fading fast
I gave him the sword
As a gift as well as a warning
Of the troubles to come

My dear Arthur
He was determined to find the holy grail
I told him that such holy object
Needed to be found by a pure man
He was not one
He still searched
And put his best friend in charge of his kingdom
Sir Lancelot
Did I not warn him of his queen’s betraying love?
For this knight?
Like I said
He was blind
I watched in sorrow
As Lancelot and the queen grew closer
Until they were in each other’s arms
I could hear the cries of Lancelot’s wife
Weeping tears of betrayal
As her husband bedded
With another wedded woman
I too cried a little
For my dear, dear Arthur
What made you so blind?

When he returned
Chaos struck
Somehow the lords knew
They erupted with fury
Of the queen’s betrayal
By his best friend and most loyal knight
“Stone Her, Burn Her,
Kill the Queen”
Those words echoed the halls
I tried to calm the crowd
As well as my dear Arthur
Who was near tears
He sat on his throne
His wife beside him
Held her head in shame
Lancelot was nowhere to be found
Disaster struck as He entered
The prophesized killer of Arthur

He came in
I felt Mab’s magic at work
I tried to make the lords leave
But His dark words
They satisfied the dark thoughts
Of the once loyal lords
He twisted revenge into the laws
He made it known who his father was
He was destroying my years’ worth of work
In a very short amount of words
The news quickly spread
The kings son
The queen’s lover
People demanded death
Death to the queen

As she was sent to the stake
My dear, dear Arthur
Began to weep
He knew as well as I
That this was between the king and queen
Not the people
Yet there she was
Tied to a wooden pole
Like an animal sent to slaughter
This was Mordred’s doing
This was Mab’s work
Suddenly as soon as the flames began to touch her fair skin
Sir Lancelot came
He rode in
Took her upon his horse and rode off
Never too be seen again
Both Arthur and I cheered
Her life had been spared
Not blood was shed
No one would see them ever again
But this did not satisfy the evil
In the lords hearts

Again he spoke
Slipping and twisting his words
Into their minds
Now he played the lords against their king
They believed that he was better
Better than Arthur
They turned against him
And sided with the traitor
It was with much sadness that I had to leave
I had to let him fight his own battle
I rode off
With my face turned away
Hoping that Arthur didn’t see me
Hoping he didn’t see me cry

I later received word
That Mordred had fallen in battle
Along with Arthur
Who succumb to his wounds
I received Arthur’s death with a heavy heart
I cried and wept
For Arthur the once great king
The great ruler of Britain
My Arthur
My son

At his death
The kingdom fell
In to legend and myth
Of fairytales and children’s stories
Just as I fear it would
Magic too became legend
Mad tried to bring back the old ways
She lost
I too have lost
For I failed to make a kingdom
A land of peace and tranquility
That is all I ever wanted

Now I too must go
I must fade into legends and tales
Only remembered in the eyes of children


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741