The phone rings again.
I just look,
not caring who it is.

My mind running in circles,
giving me a headache.
Not again.

Computer overheated,
too much social media.
The phone buzzes this time.

'I'm sorry...'
You say that too much,
friend.

It's not okay,
what else can I say?
'I hate you, you're the worst.'

I learned not to say words that portray hate.
Only words that bring joy.
'I've missed you, you make me happy.'

I've learned to fake my smile.
To fake my emotions.
To fake my friends.

Soon,
I will have no more.
No one.

Soon,
I will need to find myself.
To find my words.

Not yet,
I'm still young.
I will when I'm older.

She keeps calling me,
what do I say?
I don't want to lie.

'Sorry, friend.'
I say when I answer.
Real.

'I'll talk to you later.'
I want to hang up.
Fake.

The computer is cold.
Turning it on,
social media swallows me again.

s.f.
3.30.15