Me

I have never been one that was actually able to say that I love who I am,

I would always allow people to treat me like crap, and I always pretended that I didn't give a damn.

Truth is, that shit that I went through bothers me more than I can tell you,

even though I wanted to convince myself that none of it was true.

I pretended like I was okay, and forgave everyone for the things that they would say,

And I would replay those comments in my head every single day.

Even now, some of those comments were to said to me over ten years ago, but I remember every word,

And I tried so hard to convince myself that I didn't care, but I realized that that is absurd.

It took me a long time to realize that I am right for people, but not for the people that I keep trying for,

But I am no longer going to be a people pleaser, and I am not taking care of anyone else anymore.

I realized that the only person that I need to make happy is me,

And I am tired of everyone else telling me what I need to be.

I was never good enough for her, I was never pretty enough for him, other people were intimidated by what I would become,

And I finally realized that this was where all of my sadness was coming from.

I cared too much about what other people thought, and it left me feeling incomplete,

And I was waiting for you, ready to give you all of my love, but you were okay with throwing me in the back seat.

This is not just about romantic relationships, but also with family and friends,

But all of that is over, and all of my people pleasing is coming to an end.

I never did what I wanted to do because of what others may think,

But I finally realized that this may be keeping other people happy, but that is the kind of shit that would make my heart sink.

I am who I am, and whether or not you can take it or leave it, regardless I really don't care,

Because I was always making everyone else happy, but no one did the same for me, and I finally realized that that is not fair.

I am tired of these one sided relationships where I give my all, and the rest don't even give me half of what I give,

And I can be doing so much more with my life, because that is no way to live.

From now on, you can either take it or leave it,

Regardless I don't give a shit.

I am that girl who is indecisive, I love a lot of different things, and I have many sides to me,

But that is who I am, and there is no one else I would rather be.

I love being outside, and I love boxing and sports, and I love camping and hanging with the guys,

But I also love to dance, and I love makeup, shopping, and even watching a romantic movie while having a good cry.

I listen to all types to music, and I love my classic rock, rap, and pop,

But I love musicals, oldies from the fifties and sixties, and Taylor Swift will always be my top.

I have a past that I don't talk about that I still struggle with, and I have had to overcome a lot, 

And I do a really good job of keeping it together, and no one knows about all of the battles that I have fought.

I hate movies, I love to read and write, I am a big animal lover, and I prefer to be alone,

Because I don't go out to parties most weekends, and I would much prefer to stay at home.

I am a no bullshit type of person, I hate excuses, and there is nothing that I hate more than drama.

And I hope that everyone who has fucked me over knows that I am a big believer in karma.

I guess what I am getting at is that I have a lot of interests, and I am no longer going to feel like I have to pick a side,

And I am no longer going to feel like I have to hide.

From now on, I am going to be the girl that I always wanted to be, 

And  I am finally going to be happy, because I am just going to let myself be me. 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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