Is MD just a disease?

Or a lifestyle?

Maybe

It changed how I’ve lived

But I didn’t choose it

Some say it’s a battle

They say I’m brave

But I don’t feel brave

I feel weak

And am I winning?

They say I’m beating the odds

But is it odds I want to beat?

Is this a game?

Am I a gladiator competing in a bloodsport where the weakest are killed and the survivors crowned?

No

I’m only fighting against one,

But he’s a bully,

Attacking my mind,

Taunting me

“You’ve only slowed me down,” he says

“In the end, I always win”

He’s right

The media tells me

“Be the man,

Be the man,

Be the man”

But they don’t get it

What makes a man?

Is it the muscle?

The confidence?

The danger?

Danger…

Like an action hero

James Bond

Superman

But superman is a protector

Is it the safety and security?

Yes, security

Her knight in shining armor

He comes to her rescue,

Fends off her demons

I can’t

Chivalry was never dead,

But it’s dead now

Slain by that cold-blooded mutant,

The beast that won’t desist,

The usurper in a grandiose fairy tale whose stranglehold leaves the final pages unwritten

Stop

Why do I think about it?

I have nothing to prove

But I do

All around me,

Friends,

Family,

People you meet,

And you meet their other halves

But I’m still just one half

And everywhere,

It’s everywhere,

The media tells me,

“You want someone,

You need someone,

You’ll be happy with someone

If you can be the man”

And he tells me,

“You can’t have anyone

In the end, I always win”

He’s wrong

It can be real

Her

She can be real

Her touch, her kiss, her face…

Do I want to see her face?

The look of pity, of sorrow, of regret,

Wishing she’d see strength, confidence,

And security

Her face is worn

From the years I’ve robbed from her

I’m helpless

Why should I limit your life?

Can I dance with you?

Carry you like you’re weightless?

No

It’s too much,

The gravity,

I can’t fight it

I’m not the knight

I’m the demon

It’s not fair

Stop

Why do I think about it?

I have nothing to prove

But I can beat MD

He won’t win in the end

The labs,

The research,

They’re close

They’re so close

3 years

That’s all

5 years

They’ll have something

10 years

I know I can beat him

Then I can be the man

Stop

Why do I think about it?

I have nothing to prove

But just give me 10 years

Then I can be the man

Then