This summer, the summer before my future’s going to get decided,

Okay, not

Decided, but college applications and stress and exams,

It all feels like it should be too much, anyway, this summer

I went on a family road trip to see some famously falling water.

 

But the thing is I get motion sickness, of

Both the car and boat variety,

So I’m thinking, that means no more milk and please don’t puke

And it’s that miasma of hopelessness and Dad’s bad taste in music

That makes me think, ugh and urgh in the same breath.

 

But my younger cousins are so adorable even

When the sound of Neon Cat threatens a migraine

And I’ve got teriyaki chicken sauce all over my sleeve.

 

But my sister’s laughing even

When the ice cream's melted and I can’t tan, and

The sea spray, and all the fish piss that's in

It, and it all ruins my hair and my feet hurt from walking

And there’s an uncomfortable feeling in my gut

And that’s never good, except it is because

It means I’m still alive, and alive is good, alive

Means that I’m human, I can still feel.

 

It’s cold and I’m coughing and this group is missing two

And I can’t see from the water, somebody help, and the press of bodies

On this crowded boat, Maid of the Mist, who even came up with that

It’s so stupid and I don’t see the point

And the sway, the sway of this boat, it pains me until it

Suddenly doesn’t.

 

But everybody’s drenched, these new sandals look so nice and there's a

Butterfly and the smell of grass is so sweet and the mist, the mist

It conceals and it’s there and suddenly I can see even

When my mom’s sick

And people are dying, and I don't know much,

But this summer at least, it's all alright

I’ve got a heart that still beats even

It’s just a little dinged up and dented

And I'm still surviving, still breathing, still moving, still talking and this summer,

I felt the thrill of living, with all of its

Discomfort and desperation, dreams and desires.

 

Because life is more than this moment, and this

Moment is more than life, and as long as those stubborn

Organs in my chest keep on functioning, I’ll have both

Life and moments like that

But right now, both of them

Can only be expressed in a smile.