I see her,

And only her.

 

The rest of the world is just a blur,

But her…

Well I see her quite clearly.

 

To me there is a magnifying glass.

And I see her through it.

 

I have been watching her,

From this side,

For her whole life.

 

She sucks.

 

She’s too tall,

Too fat,

Too insecure,

Too awkward,

Too rude,

Too boring,

Too uninteresting,

She’s just unbearable.

 

I can’t stand her.

 

It’s painful to watch her,

 

Watch her sit in the back of the class,

And never raise her hand,

Though I know,

I know she knows the answers.

 

It’s painful to watch her,

 

Watch her try so hard to talk to those around her,

And fail to make them her friends,

Because she is awful.

 

It’s painful to watch her,

 

Watch her shrink into the walls of the hallway,

Shrink, trying to disappear from the eyes,

The haunting eyes that belong to happy people,

The ones who smile and mean it,

The ones whose mind and body are one,

The ones who don’t have a magnifying glass separating their minds and bodies.

 

The truth is,

It’s agonizing

To watch yourself go through your life without the power to choose.

 

To be so close to freedom,

But have the glass hold you back.

 

You reach,

As hard as you can,

Because you know,

You know that as soon as you touch her,

You will be united once again.

 

No longer will you have to watch,

Watch miserably as the magnifying glass magnifies her worst qualities.

 

No longer will her faults define her,

Define her and choose her path for her.

 

No longer will they sew a smile on her,

A smile to hide the sin of the magnifying glass.

 

Which is that it has imprisoned your mind,

It holds it captive to torture it,

With its manipulation of your body.

 

It forces your body to obey,

While consuming your mind with the images it shows,

The images showing how you seem to others,

Along with how they feel towards you.

 

According to the glass…

They all hate you.

 

They hate being around you.

 

They hate how uncomfortable you make them feel.

 

And they are all

Disgusted.

 

But slowly,

It angers you.

 

It angers you to be controlled.

 

It angers you to be trapped.

 

It angers you to feel as though you can never be happy.

 

It angers you so much,

That the glass starts to crack.

 

It starts cracking from the borders.

 

Everytime you get upset by it,

The cracks draw closer to the center.

 

Slowly it loses the ability to only magniful your insecurities,

And it starts to magnify your good qualities.

 

Slowly you see a girl who is somewhat beautiful,

Somewhat smart,

Somewhat talented,

Somewhat artistic,

Somewhat funny,

Somewhat of a good friend,

And slowly the cracks reveal more and more qualities that used to be hidden.

 

All of a sudden a whole is created where her heart was,

And all of a sudden the room is illuminated,

Illuminated by a blinding golden light.

 

Because hidden behind all of the good and the bad qualities,

Was the greatest, most significant reality of all,

Her heart.

 

Once the light of her heart reached the other side of the now broken glass,

It gave me enough love,

Sympathy,

And strength to break through the magnifying glass,

And to reach her face,

Just with the tip of my fingers,

And something strange happened.

 

I was sitting on a chair,

With a desk in front of me,

In the back of the class,

Surrounded by the people with the smiles on their faces.

 

The teacher stood in front of the class,

She asked:

“What are you most thankful for?”

Without thinking twice,

My hand flew in the air,

So high and so quickly,

That it was echoed by a pop of my shoulder.

 

I witnessed as those around me,

Slowly painted an expression of shock and pleasure on their faces.

 

And I started:

“I am most thankful for the magnifying glass,

It showed me who I am,

My insecurities,

And my good qualities,

And it showed my most valuable treasure,

My heart.

And despite the pain and trauma it put me through,

Now I know,

Now I know how grateful I am,

How grateful I am to be free.

So I am thankful,

Because had it not been for the magnifying glass,

I would have never fully been able to appreciate how wonderful it feels to be one.

And you know the most interesting part is,

It had a name,

The magnifying glass had a name.

Its name was…

ANXIETY.”