Losing Myself to Social Anxiety

It seems that many have forgotten what social anxiety truly is...

So let me explain how it is taking over my life.

I'm spending my summer working at my mom's office,

she tells me everyday to talk to people.

I refuse.

I spend my lunch hour with her every day,

well not every day.

She casually says over breakfast,

I have a lunch meeting today so you're on your own.

The panic starts to fill my mind.

I think through my options:

I can eat at my desk,

I can eat in her office,

or I can eat in the break room.

I decide on the middle option.

Lunchtime rolls around and I head to her office.

The door is locked.


I try to hide my fear as I walk to the break room.

A group of people are in there laughing and conversing.

I quickly change my course for my desk.

I sit down and unzip my lunchbag,

the noise seems as loud as can be.

Surely my coworkers heard.


I peak into the bag,

carrots, celery, crackers.


There is no way I will be able to eat these things quietly.

The silence of the office space suddenly seems overwhelming.

I know everyone can hear my every move.

I understand that not eating lunch could easily cause me to relapse into my anorexic ways.

I skip lunch.


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