Lonely Lullabies
Rest teabags asleep on my sleepless eyes
And dream of the fragments within my mind
Fill the empty void inside
With nauseous guilt and acrid goodbyes
Consuming myself and feeding them lies,
I accept the tainted love I find
I drown in lonely lullabies
And ask myself if love is blind
All in bloom, all so alive
Yet I still drown in the silence on which I thrive
Silence, desperately searching for a place to hide
Drenched in the memories they all left behind
Once again I guess I've been left behind
Drain the swollen fluid from my ennui eyes
And "cure" me with chemicals to anesthetize
I'm locked in this prison of my own morbid mind
But I like it in here, no one outside can leave me behind
Self-awareness is my self-inflicted Stockholm Syndrome
I feed on hopeless misery and fester in martyrdom
Quixotic, chaotic; I'm a cage with no key
My fatal flaw is enigmatic entropy
I'm the most cynical idealist; I juxtapose myself
I mean nothing to you anymore but I have nothing else
I can't look away so I keep looking back
When I had something intact - everything I now lack
Maybe if I weren't ignored and treated like filthy dust
Then I could learn how to believe; I could learn how to trust
The clock just always mocks me as I'm running out of time
And I waste everyone else's while I dispose my wasted mind
I hate hollow hope, I hate how it tastes
And the aftertaste is worse, but it never dissipates
You gave me so much hope but then you threw it in my face
As if I don't exist and now I'm just a waste of space
Falling in love means nothing more than falling out of place
I'm falling apart and nothing more than a disgrace