Log #3

-I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

Is this where it gets me, on my feet, sev'ral feet ahead of me?

I see it coming, do I run or fire my gun or let it be?

There is no beat, no melody

My first friend, my enemy

Maybe the last face I ever see

If I throw away my shot, is this how you'll remember me?

What if this bullet is my legacy?

-You held out on me when I needed you the most, letting me go and giving me more words to fill my lungs with more sadness. You say that hurting me is how you show love and I believed you.

-Let me sleep, sing me to sleep. The melody has died and so has my innocence. Let me catch my breath and let me sleep. Just let me sleep so my breath doesn't have to stop

-I stare at my reflection in the mirror

Why am I doing this to myself?

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay

Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are

-I'm sorry mom and dad I know I've messed up bad, I should've, should've done, should've done better.

I'm sorry mom and dad for all the time I had to get my life, to get my life together, but I didn't

-I'm leaving all this life behind but taking the pain with me. I can't let you see what I've done to myself in the dark of my bedroom. You don't need to know what things I drank, what things I took, what things I wanted to do to and with others. I hate how you barely know the child you brought into the world.

-My heart can't take your carelessness. You say I'm good enough but god why do you push me down so far in the rabbit hole that I don't know what's real or what's fake

-What's wrong with skipping a meal or two? What's wrong with wanting to look like one of those models that you see everyday?  Do I look perfect yet?

-You give me reasons to hate myself

-Run away


to escape or flee from somebody or something

synonyms: escape · flee · run off · abscond · elope · abandon · turn your back on

-Take me, angel of darkness. Hold me and take me from this pain I feel everyday. Take me to the place where I feel most alive. My dreams.

-Did I say something stupid? I' sorry that I'm not as smart as you want me to be.




the action of killing oneself intentionally:

"he committed suicide at the age of forty"

synonyms: self-destruction · taking one's own life · killing oneself


intentionally kill oneself:

"he leaves the service and then suicides"



-"Why would a dead girl lie?"

-Some of the 'Bad' teens you see are into drugs and money and sex.. but I'm not into that, no I'm into being in my room all day.

-"When will you ever get out of the house?" When people stop hating the fact that I breathe the same air as them

(The World Was Wide Enough- Lin-Manuel Miranda

To my parents- Anna Clendening

Who you are- Jessie J

Quote from 13 reasons why)


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