The Little Wolf Who Only Wanted Baked Goods - The True Story of Little Red Riding Hood

Once upon a time,

In a forest not far from here,

There lived a family of wolves,

Pack is the technical term,

But wolves these days feel as though the term has led to negative connotations,

Quite unwarranted at that,

Wolves would like to put it out there that it is humans who give them such a bad reputation,

Not the other way around,

As this story, the true version, will inform you of,

The youngest of these wolves was to travel across the forest,

For he had some friends he intended to meet,

His mother wolf warned him of one thing,

Avoid the human made paths,

Paths are quite a menace for wolves, you see,

Not the paths themselves, but those who occupy them,

While most wolves are actually quite adorable,

The humans who see them often react with fear and fire,

Wolves find this quite unpleasant, and so when they see a path, they are wise enough to stay clear of it,

Unfortunately, not all humans are wise enough to stay on the paths,

The little wolf carried about his day with little trouble,

Until he heard a low growl,

And realized it was his stomach,

The pup had been so excited,

He’d forgotten to bring snacks!

It was just then that a little human girl appeared,

She was off the path,

Humans were never supposed to be off the paths,

Her cloak was scarlet red,

And she was carrying a basket of goodies, the little wolf smelt,

But he remembered his mother’s warnings,

And told himself ‘It is not worth it’,

For humans are scary things,

They cut down trees and kill for sport,

He tried to ignore the little girl in the blood red cloak,

Who first approached some flowers, before seeing him,

When she did, she froze,

The little wolf was quite unsure of what to do,

Then the girl greeted him, ‘Hello’

The wolf looked at her uncertainly before responding,

‘Hello’,

He knew he ought to ignore her,

But there was that low growling in his stomach again,

‘Say,’ he said, ‘What do you have there?’

The girl gave him a derisive look,

‘If you must know, I am delivering these baked goods to my granny. She lives a little ways away from here, in a clearing up ahead.’

‘I don’t mean to impose,’ said the little wolf, ‘But might I have one of those baked goods? I’m quite hungry,’

The little girl scoffed at him,

‘What would a wolf like you want with muffins and cookies and pastries?’

‘Only a snack,’ the little wolf replied,

The little girl shook her head, ‘These are just for my granny, not fiendish wolves,’

The little wolf was a bit hurt,

But more than that,

He was hungry,

He fled the scene,

And following the girl’s instructions,

The clever little wolf found her granny’s house with little trouble,

The little wolf knew entering a human home,

Was not the best of ideas,

But his great hunger triumphed,

Against his common sense,

And so, with hardly another area with food, or humans for miles,

The little wolf entered the old lady’s home,

Getting in was not difficult,

As the woman was quite trusting,

Enough so to leave her door unlocked,

Perhaps for the little girl with the red cloak,

Or perhaps simply because there was not another human for miles

There were other things though,

Things like the little wolf,

When he stepped inside, he saw an orderly home,

The old woman was conked out on a bed,

He rummaged for snacks,

But found her to be quite lacking,

Perhaps that’s why the young girl,

Is bringing that basket of treats, the wolf reasoned,

That made him feel a bit bad,

But his hunger was quite strong, and surely they could spare a cookie or two,

Near the slumbering old woman, was a closet filled with clothes,

Old lady clothes,

The wolf tried some on and…

Voila!

He was passable for an elderly female, was he not?

Surely so,

Surely,

And so, it was not long when a little girl came knocking on the door,

Granny was still sleeping tight,

In the best old woman voice the little wolf could muster,

He called,

‘Who is it?’

‘Granny, it’s me,’ replied the young girl, ‘Mother sent me with goods for you,’

‘For little ole me?’ the wolf replied, ‘Why, you’re too sweet !’

The little girl approached the wolf,

‘Why Granny, what big eyes you have,’

‘All the better to see you with, sweetie pie,’

‘Why Granny, what big ears you have,’

‘Good thing too, because my hearing might be going a bit out the wayside,

Now let me at those pastries of yours,’

The little wolf took a cookie and begin munching contentedly,

‘Why Granny, what big teeth you have,’

‘All the better to eat some delicious muffins with,’

Said the little wolf,

Grabbing one that appeared to be blueberry,

Then the little girl screamed,

Startling the little wolf,

And frightening the old woman,

Who woke with a start,

The old lady’s hat had fallen,

Off the little wolf’s head,

Revealing the extent of his canine features,

Fearfully, the wolf fled,

Though not before stuffing a few scones in his mouth,

That’s when a man with an axe appeared-

A brief digression,

Wolves are often considered to be fearsome,

Wild beasts,

But this reputation is undeserved,

As wolves are often kind,

And typically just want some baked goods,

As any reasonable creature would,

They do not eat elderly women,

Humans taste kind of gross,

They are not too into pork either,

Nor do they attempt to use their breath,

To knock down buildings in their spare time,

That’s sort of a stupid hobby,

They’ve got better things to do,

And it is far more often wolves,

Who suffer attacks at the bloody hands of humans,

Than the other way around-

And the young wolf found himself in,

A position so startling,

That he ran for his little wolfish life,

All the while,

He heard the axe,

Woosh,

Woosh,

Swinging back and forth,

Like a pendulum, most threatening,  

Run and run,

The young wolf ran,

On the way he passed by house,

Of which another young girl was fleeing,

Her hair was goldish in color,

And despite his previous experience with a small human female,

He felt this one was relatable,

He allowed her to jump on his back,

As they continued to run,

A man with an axe and three rather peeved looking bears following in suit,

They hid under a bridge,

Until a grouchy troll kicked them out,

But they had lost their angry mob,

And so the little wolf and the golden haired girl made a vow,

Not to break and enter homes in the woods,

No matter how hungry you are,

‘Or sleepy,’ the blonde girl chimed,

For many people,

Lack common decency,

And don’t care if there are people who are starving,

Or lack homes,

And would rather these poor souls dead,

Than for themselves to be inconvenienced.

 

This poem is about: 
Our world

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