She sits alone in her room, she cries, not over a guy, or because her feelings are hurt, she cries over the pain she sees, the ugliness in mankind. She can't stomach violence on any level, it feels like torture for her to witness. She longs for the power to be heard, to make a difference, be a beacon of light. She can't concentrate because her mind is like a nerverending traffic jam. She dreams of ways she can reach people, any people, she believes in love even though for her love is something that always seems to turn out to be a cruel joke. She searches for a way to help heal as many people as she can, hoping that thru healing other's she can heal her own wounds. No one understands how a woman so broken can still love so purely and unconditionally. Her own kids ask how she can care so much about people she doesn't even know. The only answer she can give is that, she knows what it's like to be lost in this world and feel so alone, she knows what it's like to wish someone, anyone would care enough to take a deeper look at her and see something worth believing in and someone worth loving, she says, if I can be that for someone or for as many people as I can be that to, then maybe just maybe, someone will see that in me, or maybe I will find a way to see that in myself. She needs to believe in herself and love herself, and the only way she knows how to love herself or believe in herself is by showing others the love and inspiration she longs for. She knows that she is not the only person in this world that needs someone to love her or believe in her, so she will be that person to as many people as she can, until she has no more beats left in her heart. Every beat will count for something. It is what matters to her most, it is what she feels her purpose is. She has endured so much pain and loss in her lifetime, she has accepted that happily ever after just isn't in the cards for her, she believes she was put here to endure and survive so that she can help others survive and see a better day. Despite how ugly this world can be this life is worth living, and we are all worth loving