It didn't start off normal,
No, it had a sense of need,
The need to feel loved instead of Hated,
The need to feel special instead of Average,
The need to feel something instead of Nothing.

But then it was more than that,
It was my only source of happiness,
And I knew that wasn't healthy,
But like all of my regrets,
I couldn't let go.

In fact,
I couldn't even grasp the concept of letting go,
The idea seemed like an alien to me,
But like the harsh cold days of February,
I knew it would someday end,
But I always knew,
I couldn't let go.

Then the days grew longer,
The snow melted away,
The flowers began to bloom,
And like the heat of a blistering summer day,
My love burned brighter than the stars.

Imagine winning the lottery,
That's what it was like,
I felt like I was winning at life,
Letting go never once crossed my mind,
I thought I'd never need to.

But then came September,
The month I hate the most,
When everything began to crumble beneath me,
I felt the love fading,
Like the memories of better days,
And the spark of letting go was reignited.

I was scared,
I didn't want to let go,
I convinced myself it would get better,
Because I knew,
I couldn't let go.

Fourteen,
Fourteen,
Fourteen,
The number is still clear in my mind,
That's the date it happened,
The day I was so afraid of,
The day I was forced to let go.

I had seen it coming,
But those words,
"This isn't healthy",
"It's beyond repair",
"I'm sorry",
They ripped me to shreds.

And now I'm sitting here,
Writing this poem,
Still hurt,
Still broken,
Still full of regret.

That's just how it is,
That's life,
There's no happy ending,
The process just repeats itself,
Until the day we die,
Until the day we fade,
Until the day we let go.